Tips for parenting during the
coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak
Ideas to help parents and caregivers do the most important
job in the world.
The
coronavirus disease (COVID-19) pandemic has upended family life around the
world. School closures, working remote, physical distancing — it's a
lot to navigate for anyone, but especially for parents. We teamed up with the
Parenting for Lifelong Health initiative to bring parents and caregivers a set
of handy tips to help manage this new (temporary) normal.
1. One-on-one time
Can’t
go to work? Schools closed? Worried about money? It is normal to feel stressed
and overwhelmed.
School
shutdown is also a chance to make better relationships with our children and
teenagers. One-on-One time is free and fun. It makes children feel loved and
secure, and shows them that they are important.
Set aside time to spend with each child
It
can be for just 20 minutes, or longer – it’s up to us. It can be at the same
time each day so children or teenagers can look forward to it.
Ask your child what they would like to do
Choosing
builds their self confidence. If they want to do something that isn’t OK with
physical distancing, then this is a chance to talk with them about this.
Ideas with your baby/toddler
- Copy their facial expression and sounds.
- Sing songs, make music with pots and spoons.
- Stack cups or blocks.
- Tell a story, read a book or share pictures.
Ideas with your young child
- Read a book or look at pictures.
- Go for a walk – outdoors or around the home.
- Dance to music or sing songs!
- Do a chore together – make cleaning and cooking a game!
- Help with school work.
Ideas with your teenager
- Talk about something they like: sports, music, celebrities, friends.
- Go for a walk – outdoors or around the home.
- Exercise together to their favorite music.
Switch
off the TV and phone. Listen to them, look at them. Give them your full
attention. Have fun!
2. Keeping it positive
It‘s
hard to feel positive when our kids or teenagers are driving us crazy. We often
end up saying “Stop doing that!”. But children are much more likely to do what
we ask if we give them positive instructions and lots of praise for what they
do right.
Say the behaviour you want to see
Use
positive words when telling your child what to do; like "Please put your
clothes away" (instead of "Don’t make a mess").
It’s all in the delivery
Shouting
at your child will just make you and them more stressed and angrier. Get your
child’s attention by using their name. Speak in a calm voice.
Praise your child when they are behaving well
Try
praising your child or teenager for something they have done well. They may not
show it, but you’ll see them doing that good thing again. It will also reassure
them that you notice and care.
Get real
Can
your child actually do what you are asking them? It is very hard for a child to
keep quiet inside for a whole day but maybe they can keep quiet for 15 minutes
while you are on a call.
Help your teen stay connected
Teens
especially need to be able to communicate with their friends. Help your teen
connect through social media and other safe distancing ways. This is something
you can do together, too!
3. Get structured
COVID-19 has taken away our daily work, home and school routines. This is hard for children, teenagers and for you. Making new routines can help.
Create a flexible but consistent daily routine
- Make a schedule for you and your children that has time for structured activities as well as free time. This can help children feel more secure and better behaved.
- Children or teenagers can help plan the routine for the day – like making a school timetable. Children will follow this better if they help to make it.
- Include exercise in each day - this helps with stress and kids with lots of energy at home.
Teach your child about keeping safe distances
- If it is OK in your country, get children outside.
- You can also write letters and draw pictures to share with people. Put them up outside your home for others to see!
- You can reassure your child by talking about how you are keeping safe.
- Listen to their suggestions and take them seriously.
Make handwashing and hygiene fun
- Make a 20-second song for washing hands. Add actions!
- Give children points and praise for regular handwashing.
- Make a game to see how few times we can touch our faces with a reward for the least number of touches (you can count for each other).
You are a model for your child’s behaviour
If
you practice keeping safe distances and hygiene yourself, and treat others with
compassion, especially those who are sick or vulnerable – your children and
teenagers will learn from you.
At
the end of each day, take a minute to think about the day. Tell your child
about one positive or fun thing they did. Praise yourself for what you did well
today. You are a star!
4. Bad behaviour
All children misbehave. It is normal when children are tired, hungry, afraid, or learning independence. And they can drive us crazy when stuck at home.
Redirect
- Catch bad behavior early and redirect your kids’ attention from a bad to a good behavior.
- Stop it before it starts! When they start to get restless, you can distract with something interesting or fun: “Come, let’s go outside for a walk!”
Take a pause
Feel
like screaming? Give yourself a 10-second pause. Breathe in and out slowly five
times. Then try to respond in a calmer way. Millions of parents say this helps
- a lot!
Use consequences
Consequences
help teach our children responsibility for what they do. They also allow
discipline that is controlled. This is more effective than hitting or shouting.
- Give your child a choice to follow your instruction before giving them the consequence.
- Try to stay calm when giving the consequence.
- Make sure you can follow through with the consequence. For example, taking away a teenager’s phone for a week is hard to enforce.Taking it away for one hour is more realistic.
- Once the consequence is over, give your child a chance to do something good, and praise them for it.
One-on-One
time, praise for being good, and consistent routines will reduce bad behaviour.
Give
your children and teens simple jobs with responsibilities. Just make sure it is
something they are able to do. And praise them when they do it!
5. Keep calm and manage stress
This is a stressful time. Take care of yourself, so you can support your children.
You are not alone
Millions
of people have the same fears as us. Find someone who you can talk to about how
you are feeling. Listen to them. Avoid social media that makes you feel
panicked.
Take a break
We
all need a break sometimes. When your children are asleep, do something fun or
relaxing for yourself. Make a list of healthy activities that YOU like to do.
You deserve it!
Listen to your kids
Be
open and listen to your children. Your children will look to you for support
and reassurance. Listen to your children when they share how they are feeling.
Accept how they feel and give them comfort.
Take a pause
Here's
a one-minute relaxation activity that you can do whenever you are feeling
stressed or worried.
Step
1: Set up
- Find a comfortable sitting position, your feet flat on the floor, your hands resting in your lap.
- Close your eyes if you feel comfortable.
Step
2: Think, feel, body
- Ask yourself, “What am I thinking now?”
- Notice your thoughts. Notice if they are negative or positive.
- Notice how you feel emotionally. Notice if your feelings are happy or not.
- Notice how your body feels. Notice anything that hurts or is tense.
Step
3: Focus on your breath
- Listen to your breath as it goes in and out.
- You can put a hand on your stomach and feel it rise and fall with each breath.
- You may want to say to yourself “It’s okay. Whatever it is, I am okay.”
- Then just listen to your breath for a while.
Step
4: Coming back
- Notice how your whole body feels.
- Listen to the sounds in the room.
Step
5: Reflecting
- Think ‘do I feel different at all?’.
- When you are ready, open your eyes. Be open and listen to your children. Your children will look to you for support and reassurance. Listen to your children when they share how they are feeling. Accept how they feel and give them comfort.
Taking
a pause can also be helpful when you find your child is irritating you or has
done something wrong. It gives you a chance to be calmer. Even a few deep
breaths or connecting with the feeling of the floor beneath can make a
difference. You can also take a pause with your children!
6. Talking about COVID-19
Be willing to talk. They will already have heard something. Silence and secrets do not protect our children. Honesty and openness do. Think about how much they will understand. You know them best.
Be open and listen
Allow
your child to talk freely. Ask them open questions and find out how much they
already know.
Be honest
Always
answer their questions truthfully. Think about how old your child is and how
much they can understand.
Be supportive
Your
child may be scared or confused. Give them space to share how they are feeling
and let them know you are there for them.
It is OK not to know the answers
It
is fine to say “We don’t know, but we are working on it; or we don’t know, but
we think.” Use this as an opportunity to learn something new with your child!
Heroes not bullies
Explain
that COVID-19 has nothing to do with the way someone looks, where they are
from, or what language they speak. Tell your child that we can be compassionate
to people who are sick and those who are caring for them. Look for stories of
people who are working to stop the outbreak and are caring for sick people.
There are a lot of stories going around
Some
may not be true. Use trustworthy sites like UNICEF and the World Health
Organization.
End on a good note
Check
to see if your child is okay. Remind them that you care and that they can they
can talk to you anytime. Then do something fun together!
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